Defined as "paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally" - mindfulness describes the capacity of our awareness that can notice and identify what is happening within us from moment to moment.
Strengthening this ability, along with welcoming and expressing one's inner world of thoughts, feelings, and sensations is the foundation for emotional intelligence and self-understanding, and the bedrock for emotional availability and connectedness in relationship with others.
Noticing also provides us with access to our direct experience - which is where our "Aha's" come from. As my favorite yoga instructor, Bryan Kest, puts it: "In order to learn from your teacher (aka your life) you need to be paying attention."
The state of "not knowing" is an equally important prerequisite to learning and growing.
Which is why addressing the "I-know" mind is crucial to personal and collective transformation.
Holding on to what we think we know, or to being "right" is the ego's way of staying in control.
When we are willing to "not know" we gain direct access to the flexible, sensitive wisdom within.
According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day and of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive.
Self-inquiry is a framework and invitation for sincere examination of our unquestioned stories.
As Byron Katie famously says, "Question your thinking, change your world."
Why relational process?
Research shows that the greatest predictor of "successful" therapy is the quality of the therapeutic relationship. Along with providing my presence, listening, and active curiosity about your experience - my aim is to engage you relationally.
Relationships are where we clarify and communicate our truth, negotiate the needs and anxieties of ourselves and others, make conscious and unconscious agreements and requests, mess up and find ways to repair, navigate healthy boundaries of individuality and togetherness, and learn to weather the continual opening and closing of our hearts.
Therapy can provide you with tools and understanding but it is the practice and experience of relating that will support you to successfully integrate and implement the positive changes you're seeking to make in your daily life.
Are you ready to begin individual or couples therapy? Do you have any questions?
Please scroll to the bottom of the page to send me an email or to set up a call.
I look forward to connecting with you.
"What's in the way, is the way." - Mary O'Malley